[Podcast Notes] -The Essentials Of Leadership

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  • Leadership is not a position, it is a series of actions.

  • Leadership is working with and through others to achieve objectives as opposed to doing it by yourself.

  • When it comes to changing our behavior it's about changing beliefs about ourselves and the behavior. If we don't change beliefs about ourselves it's very hard to change our behavior.

  • It doesn't matter what we say. It only matters what they hear , if they don't hear it doesn't matter if we said it or not.

  • As a leader Your suggestions may indirectly be assumed as an order. Before giving any suggestions, ask yourself if my comment is going to improve the person's commitment.(At home)Is my comment going to improve my relationship with the person I love?

  • Leadership is not about me. Its about them.

  • There is no win . Never place your value as a human being on the results of what you are trying to achieve.

  • If our value as human beings is to do better than last year we will never do better than last year.

  • It's great to achieve things but don't become fixated on the outcome.

  • Happiness and achievements are independent variables. You can be happy without dependency upon the next achievement.

  • Focus on the process instead of the outcome.

  • Don't make yourself miserable because people in front of you are idiots.

  • The moment we take a breath, we become a new person. So don’t live in the past. Don't hang on yesterday's wins or losses. Just move forward.

  • If you are spending your time on games, movies you are living someone else's life.

  • The leaders of the past had to tell , the leaders of the future are going to ask , being more inclusive. In the future followers know more than the leader.

  • Do not start a sentence with No, But, or However.

On recognition

  • Make a list of everyone that was important in life , friends , family , direct reports , colleagues. Twice a week , once on Wednesday , once on Friday look at the page. Did anyone on this page do anything we should recognize. If they did Email , Say thank you.

  • Start asking people a question. Tell me what you're proud of ? they will tell great things you didn't even know. Appreciate it.

On Empathy

Too much empathy can be disastrous. There are three types of empathy.

Empathy of Understanding. Understanding where the people are coming from , even if we didn't agree with them.

Empathy of Feeling. It's about feeling others joy , feeling other pain, It can be disastrous to us at times.

Empathy of caring. Sometimes caring may make us less effective. A medical doctor cannot operate on your family because they care too much.

Peter Druker’s great learning point to have a happy life.

  • Mission in life is to make a positive difference . It's not to prove we are smart , not to prove we are right. If we do not make a positive difference it's absolutely irrelevant how smart or right you are.

  • Every decision in life is made by the person who has the power to make the decision. Make peace with that. Not the smartest/ right/ logical /rational person will make a decision. Make peace with that.

On Decision Making.

If we are open to the fact that we can be manipulated by the environment, the less likely we are to be controlled by the environment. The more we deny the fact that we can be controlled by the environment, the easier it is to be controlled.

On Success. Success in life is the alignment between

  • Your aspiration in life.
  • What you are trying to achieve.
  • Enjoyment of the process of life, regardless of the outcome.